A conversation with Ruby Steinbrecher, Estate Attorney · The Law Office of Ruby Steinbrecher, Santa Rosa, CA
Hosted by CJ Kerls · Branch Manager / SVP of Mortgage Lending · Rate · NMLS #243438
The gift tax exclusion is one of the most misunderstood tools available to families helping a child with a home purchase. I hear some version of this every week: "We want to help with the down payment, but we're worried about the tax hit." It almost always comes from a misunderstanding of how gift tax actually works — so I sat down with estate attorney Ruby Steinbrecher of The Law Office of Ruby Steinbrecher in Santa Rosa to clear it up. The short version: the tax code gives families some surprisingly powerful tools here. Most people just don't know they exist.
Updated for 2026
The numbers have changed since Ruby and I recorded this conversation, and the change is good news. For 2026, the annual gift exclusion is $19,000 per recipient ($38,000 per recipient for married couples using gift splitting), and the lifetime gift and estate tax exemption is $15 million per person ($30 million per married couple).
The bigger update: the scheduled cut to the lifetime exemption we discuss below never happened. The One Big Beautiful Bill Act, signed into law on July 4, 2025, made the higher exemption permanent, with annual inflation adjustments. The dollar figures quoted in the conversation reflect the law at the time of recording, but every concept and strategy we cover works exactly the same way today.
Ruby, I run into this all the time — parents who want to help their kids buy a home but assume they're going to get hit with taxes. Let's start at the beginning. What are the tools that actually exist here?
There are really two key parts to this. The first is the annual gift exclusion, which is $18,000 per recipient per year as of 2024. Most people have heard of it. What they don't realize is that there's a second, much bigger tool — the lifetime gift tax exemption. Right now that amount is $13.61 million per person. That's based on the federal estate tax threshold. If your total estate is under that number, you're not paying federal estate tax — and that same limit applies to gifts you make during your lifetime.
So walk me through how those two work together. Say a parent wants to give their child $100,000 for a down payment.
The first $18,000 is covered by the annual exclusion — zero paperwork, zero reporting, doesn't count for anything. The remaining $82,000 counts against the lifetime exemption. The parent files a gift tax return, IRS Form 709, to document it. But they don't owe any taxes unless they've already used up their entire $13.61 million lifetime exemption. For the vast majority of families, that's simply not going to happen. Filing the return is not the same as writing a check.
What if both parents want to contribute?
Each parent has their own annual exclusion and their own lifetime exemption. So two parents giving to one child can combine their annual exclusions — called gift splitting — to give $36,000 per year with no reporting required. And together they have $27.22 million in lifetime exemption before gift taxes become a real concern. There's also a concept called portability: whatever lifetime exemption a spouse doesn't use passes to the surviving spouse. So for married couples, coordinating large gifts — even six-figure ones — almost never triggers actual tax liability.
What are the biggest misunderstandings you run into?
Three big ones. First: "I'll owe taxes on the gift." For most families, no. You may need to file a return, but that's not a tax bill — it's just the IRS keeping a running tally against your lifetime limit. Second: "My child will owe income taxes on the money." Absolutely not. Gift recipients don't pay income tax on gifts received. That one trips people up constantly. And third: "I have to give it all at once." Not at all. The annual exclusion resets every January 1st. A parent who wants to give $50,000 could spread it over three years and reduce or eliminate the paperwork entirely.
That third one matters a lot on my end too. I see parents who want to be on title or structure it as a loan because they think a gift is going to create problems. And actually, a clean gift letter is the simplest path through underwriting.
Exactly. A loan between parent and child complicates things significantly — for the mortgage file and for the estate later. If a parent is in a position to simply give the funds and document it properly, that's almost always the cleaner solution for everyone.
Fairness comes up a lot. Parents don't want to give one child a big gift and feel like they're shortchanging the others. How do families handle that?
There are a few approaches. Some families give to other children over time using annual exclusions. Others document a large gift as what's called an intervivos gift — meaning a gift made during your lifetime — and build equalization language directly into the estate plan. So the estate planning documents reflect that child A received $100,000 during your lifetime, and the remaining children's inheritance is adjusted accordingly so everyone ends up equal in the end. It's a clean way to handle it when you want to help one child now without creating tension with the others later.
Is there anything on the horizon families should know about?
Yes — and this is important. The current $13.61 million lifetime exemption is set to drop significantly after 2025 under existing law, back to roughly $7 million per person adjusted for inflation, unless Congress acts to extend it. If you're thinking about making a large gift, now is genuinely a good time to talk to an estate attorney. The window may be closing.
2026 update: Congress acted. The scheduled reduction was repealed by the One Big Beautiful Bill Act in July 2025, and the lifetime exemption now stands at $15 million per person, permanent under current law and indexed for inflation each year. Ruby's underlying advice hasn't changed: before making a large gift, talk with an estate attorney so it's structured and documented properly.
About Ruby Steinbrecher
Ruby Steinbrecher is an estate attorney based in Santa Rosa, California, specializing in estate planning, trust administration, and gift and inheritance law. She runs free monthly estate planning workshops throughout Sonoma County and the Bay Area. Find upcoming workshops at lawofficeofruby.com.
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